are people inherently masochistic? what is happiness without sadness, growth without challenge, life without pain? much as we say it is instinct to harming ourselves, putting ourselves in precarious situations, all in the name of self preservation, we do so nevertheless. we learn to ride a bike, knowing well we'd fall and bleed, we work too hard, knowing well we're physically exhausting ourselves, and we give our hearts away, knowing well they could broken, just like that. is hurting ourselves, really what makes life worthwhile? we say we grow, and we learn through our experiences, but are we merely scarring ourselves, and knowing that we've changed, say that we've grown? who is to say we have changed for the better?

aren't i sounding cryptic. this is the effect of reading legal theory, the opinions of aristotle, hobbes and dworkin. thinking about the world we live in today, in particular, war/terrorism/david hicks, and realising how sad we humans are. maybe the beauty lies in the fact that we're persistant, persistant to reach utopia, persistant to understand life. maybe that is the beauty of the human soul. but centuries after aristotle, has society really improved? we still ask the same questions, seek the same answers. are we searching for something that can never be found? this not only goes for mankind as a whole, but for ourselves as individual beings. our individual search for happiness, for love. how many of you would disagree, that this search is elusive? is it then elusive to the extent that it is pointless? or shall we say that through our elusive search for happiness we learn along the way? what of humans and learning from mistakes? what about the fact that history always repeats itself? such dilemmas.

legal theory is driving me nuts.

its been raining a bit in melbourne. that's good. considering our dams are at 32% of capacity. but the weather's really getting me down. i need sunshine. and complications with friends, school and jobs ain't helping much. it seems at times when i try to make everything well, when i try to make things good, it could all come crashing down. risk and uncertainty provokes fear. fear is the evil that suppresses love. and law is what protects individuals from fear, and fear is what individuals must have to embrace liberty. such is the nonsense that makes sense, of legal theory. ARGH.